Why I'm Not Making Any New Years Resolutions

Why I'm Not Making Any New Years Resolutions

So here we are, the end of 2020. It's not the catastrophic end to the year that so many of us had imagined - after all, killer hornets, a global pandemic, Brexit, and a Civil Rights revolution don't exactly paint a pretty picture - but here we are nonetheless.

And whilst this New Year is going to be a little different, with most of us staying inside and ringing in the New Year in our pyjamas, there's one tradition that remains the same: resolutions.

I'll be honest, I've never been a huge fan of New Years resolutions.

I'm a strong believer that if you want to change something in your life, you shouldn't wait until the New Year to do it. I think that the New Year is a great time to start afresh, particularly after this disaster of a year, and that it's a great idea to look ahead for better things. That being said, if you're serious about enacting change, then you shouldn't wait! 

2020 for me personally has seen a lot of change. I've reevaluated a lot of relationships in my life and set boundaries, I've graduated from university and started a new job, and undergone a lot of self-reflection. These were changes that I made incrementally and along the way, learning as I go. Growth doesn't have to begin when the clock strikes midnight, it can start right away.

But, most importantly, the reason why I'm not making any resolutions this year is because of one simple thing: this year has been hard. 

Really hard.

And to be perfectly honest, I don't really want to put any more pressure on myself than what we are already having to externally deal with.

"Hustle Culture", "The Grind", whatever you want to call it, we face a lot of pressure to be constantly working and constantly achieving our goals.

It's a lot! Thanks in part to social media shoving stories down our throats of people starting their own businesses, working 18 hours a day, having at least 3 jobs; as well as the rules of capitalism telling us that we must constantly be working in order to be successful - we have it drilled into our minds that work must never stop.

And New Years Resolutions tie into this. Resolutions set goals and directives for the year which we set out in order for the next year to be a success.

But what happens if we don't achieve them? What happens if we can't tick them off our list? 

Setting resolutions, whilst great motivators and plans, can also set us up for failure. By placing such blinders on ourselves we limit ourselves to other possibilities and can set ourselves up for disappointment. I have friends who will pride themselves on achieving a resolution, but will equally punish themselves or beat themselves up for not. 

It's a lot to deal with.

What's more, I think many of us lose sight of the important aspects of what we should be achieving in life.

How many resolutions this year will be about a career goal like gaining a promotion, a financial improvement like saving x amount of money, or a materialistic aim like buying a new car or house?

What about goals like learning to love yourself, being kinder to other people, having a healthier body and mind? They sound cliche, but it's something to consider. We've been taught that our goals should be about the 'grind' and how hard we're working. And, most importantly, our goals must be seen by other people and acknowledged by their eyes. But that doesn't necessarily have to be the case.

I used to be the person who had a 5 year plan. I wanted to be married by 25, have my first child at 27, and my own house by 30. But if the past few years (and 2020 in particular) has taught me anything, it's that things will happen at whichever pace they want to.

I've very happily ditched my plans, and have instead accepted a calmer and more relaxed approach to my goals. Yes, I am extremely neurotic and high maintenance. But I'm trying to work on that, and give myself a bit of a break when it comes to what I set out to achieve.

2020 has been a really hard year. If you haven't achieved what you wanted, ticked off all your resolutions from the start of the year, or are feeling a bit directionless or lost: that's okay!

Society instills in us the idea that we are always in competition with each other: and this isn't true. It's okay if your best friend learned to drive this year and you didn't, it's alright that you still haven't found a job when the other graduates from your class have. If the people on your social media have moved out and bought their own homes, and you're still living with your parents, that's okay too!

2020 has put a lot of things into perspective for a lot of people. This is why my only goal for 2021 is to be healthy and happy. And why I myself won't be writing out any resolutions for this New Year coming.