Work my Femininity

Michelle Obama says you can't meet the love of your life on Tinder: here's why she's wrong "You can't Tinder your way into a long-term relationship" former First Lady Michelle Obama said on her podcast this week. Obama claimed that the key to a lasting relationship is to be "honest about wanting to be with [somebody], to date them seriously, to plan on making a commitment." Something which, apparently, cannot be achieved through dating apps. Now I don't have anything against Michelle Obama. In terms of her role in politics she was hugely inspirational as the first ever Black First Lady, and she also achieved during this time helping women in America with their education, implementing wellness programmes, and a lot more. She seems like a nice person and I don't mean to take that away from her. But Michelle, I'm sorry, you're wrong on this one. Not everyone has the opportunity to meet the love of their life working together in a law fir...

Body Positivity + Plastic Surgery = Conflicting Message? I am a champion for body positivity. In this day and age, it's awful that women (and men!) feel uncomfortable in their own bodies, or unhappy about the way they look. There are numerous reasons why people have these insecurities - I've discussed them before, in previous blog posts - and there are so many different movements which encourage the acceptance of one's own body. From loving your stretchmarks, to accepting your cellulite, realising that not all men need to have a six pack, and that being plus sized, or having skin conditions, or not falling into the 'conventional' category of attractiveness: all bodies are beautiful, and all bodies are good bodies. So what does this mean when we consider plastic surgery? Joeyy Lee - unsplash People tend to have more conflicting views when it comes to plastic surgery and how this clashes with the body positivity movement. (For the record: I will be using the term ...

  ARE YOU A SIMP? 1. Do you treat women with respect and equality? 2. Do you utilise basic manners around women, such as holding a door open for them? 3. Do you like to emotionally and maturely express your feelings for women? If so, then you might be a simp! At least, according to social media and today's standards. You've probably seen the word 'simp' being thrown around quite often lately. It's definition, according to Urban Dictionary, is "someone who does way too much for a person they like." However it usually carries some different connotations. Lately, the term has been used to describe a man who does... well, anything for a woman. You buy your girlfriend some flowers for her birthday? You're a simp. You spend some quality time with someone you like doing nice things together? You're a simp. It seems that lately being somewhat kind or affectionate means that you've become a simp. Even TikTok has a trend where guys pretend to be called o...

  STOP APOLOGISING ALL THE DAMN TIME! Your don't need to apoligise for your mere existence. As women, we have become customed to apoligising a lot. "Sorry, but I can butt in?" "Sorry, but I think we should..." "Sorry, do you know...?" It's something we've been conditioned to do, to apoligise as a preface to a sentence or a precursor to something we're about to say. We do it in business meetings, when giving over our opinion, for merely occupying space in the same sphere as men. It's not something I was entirely conscious of until I realised that in a lot of conversations I begin by saying "this may sound dumb, but..." And I thought, why? I'm an intelligent woman, I have a Bachelor's degree, I've had many jobs, I am an articulate speaker, so why is it that I was prefacing what I said with a disclaimer that the following words may not be intelligent? It took me even longer to realise that I mostly did this when havin...

If you get uncomfortable when women discuss their sexuality, or rap about sex, then you're a weak man and you need to check yourself In case you've been living under a rock the past few hours, you've probably seen Cardi B and Meg Thee Stallion drop a killer song called WAP. In fact, it broke the record for the most watched female collaboration in 24 hours. Its lyrics are sexual and iconic, its beat is addictive, and the music video is a work of art. So why is it facing backlash? Well, because weak men exist in the world. Because men who are uncomfortable with their sexuality and who are uncomfortable with women expressing their sexuality think it's wrong to sing about having a 'wet ass pussy'. After all, rap is only a space for men to talk sexually, right? R. Kelly has 'Bump N' Grind' 50 Cent has 'Candy Shop' Lil Wayne has 'Lollipop' And there are countless other songs which talk about sex - whether explicitly or 'subtly' - an...

Why Don't We Take Female Health Seriously? A few days ago, popular US rapper and up-and-coming star Meg Thee Stallion was shot several times after leaving a friend's party. She suffered from several gunshot wounds, and was immediately rushed to hospital where she had to undergo surgery in order to ensure she was okay. Naturally, the general public was shocked and taken aback. Meg had never spoken of being involved in violence in any way before, and so it was a surprise to hear that she had been involved in such a violent and aggressive attack.  But, amongst the shock, and the warm wishes, and the questions; also came mockery. Memes, jokes, nasty comments... Meg Thee Stallion became the butt of a cruel joke centred around what any normal person would appreciate is a traumatic event.  Sadly, this is not the first time the internet has taken a traumatic moment and turned it into a joke. This isn't the first time that the health of a woman has been mocked or not taken seriously...

Why, as women, do we struggle so hard to love ourselves when we can so easily love others? I am friends with many different women who make up many different shapes and sizes, and I love them all individually. Each one of them has their own personal attributes that make them amazing, and I'm very fortunate to be surrounded by so many incredible women. Some of my friends are similar sized to me, or even bigger. Some have big bums, big arms, a muffin top, loose skin... you name it. And when I look at my friends and see their big bums, big arms, muffin tops, and loose skin, I don't think anything of it. I think they're all beautiful, sexy, attractive women. I don't even look at them and think ' they're beautiful in spite of their stretchmarks' or ' they're beautiful because they proudly show off their scars', to be entirely honest, their stretchmarks and big bums and bellies don't even register in my mind. They are so normal and so common for wom...